Erin It is better to give than to receive. This statement is very true. It feels wonderful to give gifts and see the joy it brings others. It fills you with joy when you know you have brought a little happiness to someone’s life. But what happens when this supposedly joyous act becomes a malicious statement?
This time of the year has become centered around this act of giving, but not just the receiving as well. It has become a competition of what, how much, and the worth of what was received. It is great to have friends and family, but the number one reason I do not enjoy having many is because something is usually expected. Time, energy, money, patience, forgiveness, and blindness are all common when dealing with humanity, however, when it is not deserved or earned yet still expected is where I draw the line.
The wholesomeness of giving a gift, whether it be your time or something material, is to not expect something in return. It is to bring joy or help. The word is giving for shit’s sake not “expecting.” I have had many “friends” and have had many families (being married three times) and I have seen many people doing alot of expecting instead of giving. It takes much joy out of the season when gifts become competing to see if the person gets you something better or more expensive. Will the person get you anything at all, and if they do not, does that mean you get to call them horrible? Can you beat them to the punch and send your gift first? Was the card handwritten or printed? Was it wrapped or just in a box? Did they send a card at all?
Other than my children, gift giving has become a chore. I have friends (best ones), and we send maybe a postcard but mostly just a phone call on the big day to give our love and best wishes. We let each other know that on this spirited day, they are on our minds and we love them. That to me is a great gift. A phone call is so simple and at it’s best. Others send gifts or request a gift, and that to me is too much. It is all situational of course. Not everyone in our lives gives with high or cruel expectations, but in the past and a few present, this is certainly the case.
We preach to our children to create not buy. When it comes to holidays or birthdays, make a gift. Draw a picture, write a story, build a craft, or do a good deed. Every parent loves to be surprised by their children with something made from the heart. Maybe I sound a little Grinch-y, but to us, that is Christmas. To our family, gift buying and giving has started to suck and lost it’s meaning. I would be the horrible person to suddenly stop sending and instead send homemade pictures. Judge away.
