Erin With military life comes many challenges. If you have ever seen Army Wives, forget most of what you watched. Yes, spouses can be very dramatic, gossipy, and snobby. Yes, deployments happen too often. Yes, you move sometimes at the drop of a hat. There are many things, however, that the show does not depict in all honesty.
In our five years of being a military family, we have only moved twice. My husband has been deployed overseas and to other states over six times. I have called our housing maintenance well over one hundred times. I have had to call our insurance company at least sixty times. We have been through lock downs, active shooter warnings, high winds, heavy snow, hurricanes, and one strange flood (my neighbour was flooded, but somehow we only got one inch of water).
I know so many acronyms and slang I sound like I am having a seizure if a civilian heard me. I have also learned that if you speak using those acronyms, people eventually stop talking to you ha ha! I have met spouses who were cool, and spouses who swear they are their husband’s rank. I have met a few faithful spouses, but I have met many who wander (yes there are only a few faithful by comparison). I have seen many divorces and dramatic MP (military police) arrivals because someone finally got caught. The strangest thing would have to be the yard flamingoes (that is for a different day).
Since my husband and I were married long before he enlisted, we have experienced both civilian health insurance and military health insurance. We know firsthand the pros and cons of each. It is funny watching the news and hearing everyone compare socialized medicine to what is available today. They know nothing! You wanna see how socialized medicine works? Join the military, but to really experience it…… be the spouse.
Sure the Army has many benefits for families. In my honest opinion, if you were not born with a silver spoon in your mouth, your best bet would be to join the military. However, it is important to understand that the Army only has one priority…… keep their investment and property (the soldier) healthy and working. So as the spouse, you are a second class citizen. If you have needs, they will always come second or never be acknowledged at all. This is where a spouse finds resiliency and stubbornness. Same goes for the children. If your kids need anything, it is never expected of the soldier to help. It is always the spouse’sjob.
If you are the spouse or the children, you have to be 100% relentless when it comes to doctors or health. You have to remind housing that you are a person, and you have rights in your home. Never forget one more thing……. you have to remind that damn forgetful soldier of yours to renew that POA a million fucking times. Be prepared though, they always forget! It may sound strange, but you need a POA to have any say in your life or your children’s lives. Without this one document (or sometimes eight) you can’t:
- Move, sign, repair, or deny entry to your on post home
- Transfer, sign, or adjust anything with your child’s education in on post schools
- Authorize some medical procedures, referrals, or treatments for your children
- Contact or change anything with your medical or dental insurance
- Take out any loan or assistance
- Pay any bill with their name on it (even if you are on it too in some cases)
- Renew your own military I.D. (that thing you HAVE to have if you wanna go home on post)
- Have any visitors in your home or on post that are not military
I am certain I am missing some things, so please if you are military comment below so it can be stressed further. It is not always the pleasantville life it appears to be. Many think that marrying a soldier means a lifetime of bliss and leisure. They think they don’t have to work or pay for a home, They assume they will live in some great mansion as shown in the TV show. They think they will be treated like royalty as their soldier rises in the ranks. None of this is true!
I realize that this is starting to get a little long. I figure this may start some discussion in a long line of posts of Before You Join the Military. The recruiters do not tell you everything, and sometimes spouses will hide some of the negative. I want this to be about as honest as possible. Gotta be informed! Until next time reader!
