Erin Before Covid, I did not appreciate the busy schedules. Having children on the spectrum means structure. Schedules and routines are very important with kiddos like mine. They know what is coming and they are prepared for small disturbances or bumps in their daily lives. The weeks flew by because they were monotonous and predictable. With my anxiety, I was an unstoppable force as a mother! Even though most days I collapsed in bed after the craziness of the day.
After Covid, I was so happy in many ways that everything came to a halt. I was excited about spending the days at home, and expressing my introvert-ness on a daily basis. Slowly with time (after two weeks), I began to miss the driving and meetings and classes. I had to entertain three kids, and I was never 100% successful. I missed going to the movies with my screaming kids, and paying $20 for a small popcorn. I missed toting my demons to the grocery store only to pay double because their sneaky hands were always grabbing random crap. I longed for the early mornings getting ready for school, and the battles of the car rider pick up line.
Although I am a proud introvert, my kids needed their schedules more than ever. They needed to be active and entertained by someone other than their mom. They needed the daily stimulation and social connections. I did not keep in mind how difficult it was for them as puzzle kids (that’s what I call special needs) to just be happy day to day. To me if they smiled or laughed, it was a good day. In reality, they were constantly stressed because they never knew what to expect when there was nothing to expect.
In the past month, everything has began opening up. Now we are back to the cub scouts, american heritage girls, school activities, the BSAs, gymnastics, and soon karate. Don’t judge me now. If you are thinking, “How dare this momma let her kids do all of this during a pandemic,” just remember this is my family, not yours. For my kids, this is a god send as they needed this. I appreciate it so much more, because I see a different light in my children’s eyes after the craziness of the past year. Do not feel mom guilt when you are making your children sane, and giving them back some normalcy. Do not feel bad for doing what you know is best for your children. My children suffer deployments, trainings, pandemics, doctors, and so much. They deserve a schedule! Now, I love the craziness.
What kind of schedules do you keep? What is something you could not stand or took for granted before the pandemic?
****** I immediately retract this whole statement……. this week was bullshit, and I never want to get in my car again ughhhhhh*******
