Erin The many years I have been living (let’s just say 29….. ish), I have always had a wide range of loves. I have a great pallette, and appreciate many types of food. My mother was a shit cook, so when I flew the coop, I tried everything I could at least once. I believe that is a good philosophy for everything in life, except anal (that ain’t happening). I have also had many health issues in the past with my digestive system (not at all related to the mass amounts of spicy cabbage and peppers I’ve consumed I’m sure ha ha). Today, I am seeing a brand new gastroenterologist. I have had colonoscopies at a very young age, however, given my current age, they are becoming a normal thing to schedule. It sucks getting old!
Fruit and veggie smoothies have become a regular in my daily routine. I consume way more than necessary, but it has to be better than ramen noodles and pringles right? I wondered though, given my already current issues, am I really doing better than eating the bad shit? The conundrum is when I eat bad foods, my tummy feels fine. When I eat healthy foods, my tummy feels like a pile of burning trash. This cannot be normal. How can it be that eating right, feels like shit……. and produces a lot of shit!
I see commercials all the time about clean eating, vegetarianism, veganism, and that one where you eat only worms and leaves (yuck city). How do these people function on a daily basis? If my experiences have taught me anything about these choices, it is that these people at least aren’t full of shit! Shit shit shit, I am using that word a lot today. I understand that it will help you live longer. I understand that being on this planet for my husband and my children is the best. I get it, but how miserable are you supposed to be while living that stupidly long life?
Avocados taste like slime. Cucumbers and lettuce taste like water. Tofu tastes like booger molds. Every ingredient in this stupid smoothie is stuck in my teeth. Spinach was not meant to be mixed with fruit. I could list things all day. On top of that, I am always hungry no matter how many veggies I shove down my throat. Even my cat made that puke sound after smelling what I am drinking. At this point, I’d rather die tomorrow just to eat a taco today.
I wanna know your opinion. If you are a vegetarian or any of the others listed, how do you not constantly shit your pants? Am I doing this wrong? I ask myself that question a lot. Should I just go to Taco Bell?
