Erin You know you have anxiety. You know you have depression. You know this is your problem, disability, issue, or burden. You wake up and function to the best of your ability everyday consciously coaching yourself to manage this monkey knawing at your back. It is invisible to everyone else in the sense of it comes with no limp or cast. Anxiety has no scar or sign that you wear, so to others you seem like you should have it all together because you look “fine.”
Perhaps you are lucky. You find something to manage this recurring thought of insufficiency. What do you do when it no longer works? Many times I have been on different meds. At one point, I was so over medicated I landed in the emergency room with serotonin syndrome. Multiple times, multiple meds, multiple treatments, and multiple letdowns. Now, the same repeated cycle.
Essential oils, yoga, exercise, walks, work, fun, and many other ideas to help with anxiety also seem to work, but for only a short time. How do people live long lives with anxiety and seemingly enjoy their days? Is it fake? Is it all a show? Social media and tv make it easy to appear as though they are managing it, but when they are alone, are they feeling like I do? Like you do?
I suppose this particular article was meant to simply be a vent session. In the past year, I have found avenues to improve my anxiety in the home and outside of the home, but each seem to only calm my mind for a short period. Even these relaxing hobbies come with drama and troubles. Whether it is having sociable friends, volunteering, or shopping in the store rather than pickup. It all just seems at times to make the anxiety worse.
How do you cope? What allows you to function or appear “normal” throughout the day? I know I am not the only one. That is certain, but I feel it. It is difficult to talk about your anxiety because to others, you sound as though you are “whining” or complaining about life. How do you communicate? Is your cure hobbies or is it the blue or yellow?
