15% minimum please…….

This morning, it occurred to me that I should get paid to be a mom. Sure my husband is technically the bread winner, but when you analyze all the things I do as a SAHM, you find that I am slightly underappreciated. I appreciate all my husband does for me. However, my kids should be the ones paying me. At the very least, they should be tipping!

I have joked with my family before about creating a tip jar. I tended bar for so many years, and my tip jar was a direct reflection of my hard work. Even on slow nights or morning shifts, I made bank just by my tips. I loved having that recognition, even if I was the only one who knew how much was in it! Yes, I love doing this for my children……. within limits…… but everyday they are becoming more and more demanding. Today, I truly felt like a maid. My oldest (the teen) dropped a paper towel on the floor. I asked her if she was going to pick it up. She said,”Can’t you just get it?” My son (8) demanded the water in his cup be colder for his “sip” to take his pill. Lastly my sweet five year old showed her devil horns as she screamed, “You did my ponytail wrong!”

Hairdressers get tipped, so I think my five year old should rethink her approach. Waiters get tipped, so my son should analyze the value of pissing me off versus how cold his water needs to be. Even maids get bonuses and shit, so my teen should be busting out a checkbook! I understand that they are children. Their ever changing minds do not currently grasp how close I am to losing my shit on a daily basis. I will give them slack when needed or deserved. This morning was not one of those times.

If I treated or responded to my children in the same manner, they would be apalled. To the general public (Karens of the world), I would be a horrible mom. My question is, how long should we make allowances to these behaviors? I instantly correct my children when they behave like they did this morning. I suppose the better question would be, how long until that f$cking light bulb clicks on in their head to make them aware they are acting like little a-holes? Rant over for the day. Mommy out.

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