Erin Who doesn’t love a good jello mold? Maybe I am alone, but I love them. I love making them. To me, jello molds are the epitome of vintage for the era I love the most……. the 50’s. The 60’s as well are great. First let me clarify, I love the TV and movie version of these two decades. The historic and realistic version is much different and far more daunting. I love the imaginative, simple, peaceful, and pleasant versions. Dick Van Dyke, Lucille Ball, and Beaver makeup my ideal script of vintage perfection. Anything from dresses to jello peak my interest so long as it is dated from these decades of a simpler time. Maybe not this mold though…… that’s just too far!
When I do want my fictional fix with a touch of reality, I re-watch one of my favorite shows. Mad Men gives an in-depth look at the lifestyle of the 50’s and 60’s. It shows the glamour and attraction while also displaying the political and social realities that came with that “simpler” price. This is just one mom’s opinion, but I feel the greatest strength would be the female portrayals. This show managed to capture all aspects of womanhood. Single women, married with children, married without, divorced, working women, minority, rich, lower income, older, younger, and even life as a bombshell redhead! While many may feel the show was about life as an advertisement mogul man in Manhattan……. I saw it as a display of strength of what women can overcome.
In my podcast, I did an episode based on the parenting and marriage differences between the 50/60’s and today. The show made a point to express with great emphasis the big no no’s of today, but the perfectly acceptable norms of way back when. A few examples would be leaving the family’s picnic trash in the park, children roaming freely unfastened in the moving vehicle, the “friendly” neighbor correcting a friend’s child with a swift slap across the face, smoking in a hospital, and the “maybe just one” cocktail and smoke while eight months pregnant. Well, alot of smoking, smoking, smoking, smoking everywhere!
Here are some little tid bits to think on:
- Dad’s generally only spent about twenty minutes each working day with their children. The mother was to care, feed, transport, wash, assist with homework, prepare for bedtime, and be sure that the children were quiet in preparation for Father to arrive home after a long day. No interruptions or fuss while he enjoyed his dinner and relaxed. He may watch the television with them for a bit, but it would quickly be kisses or a good, “Goodnight Slugger!” then off to bed.
- Dad’s, or husband’s for that matter, really did not help at all. It was just enough of participation to bring home the bacon. No assistance required in raising the children, cleaning up after themselves, making anything for themselves, or running a vacuum every now and then. Even if the woman worked a few hours or a full forty, it was all expected to be on her. Maybe she was lucky. Perhaps the husband would keep up with his “masculine” duties such as mow the lawn, clean the gutters, etc. You know, the duties outside so he could display to the world that he actually does shit.
- Roughly 6% of couples were divorced. Whether he/she cheated, lied, gambled, or gave the occasional black eye…… better save face in your community or not bring shame to your family. Not to mention, most states did not ALLOW divorce unless the husband agreed or you had physical proof of infidelity (and alot of it).
- Children were taught to be very independent. I was raised in the 80’s and the 90’s. We were still “latch key kids”, but we had way more restrictions than the previous decades. By the 2nd and 3rd grade, 50’s kids were walking home alone from school at a pretty good distance. They were left alone or in charge of their younger siblings as young as nine and it was ACCEPTABLE! It was NORMAL! Do that today! Just try that!
- Today mother’s are criticized on both ends of this spectrum. If you are a working mother, you are abandoning your children, but if you are a stay at home mother, you are lazy. It is very difficult to make anyone happy with an in between. Fuck what people think though right? Right! Back in the day, it was clear how people felt. If a mother worked, odds are you were “just poor.” A mother was expected to stay at home. It was the best thing for children in those days apparently and if you did not stay put, somehow the world believed your children were going to grow up wrong or inadequate and it would be all the mother’s fault. If a mother really wanted to work…….. I mean really just had to get out of the house………. I mean you needed gone and had to do something but could not stand another lunch or could not handle going to the tennis club or stables or bridge club or whatever the fuck those women did to not strangle their offspring, it would be acceptable to work for a few hours each week during the school days.
In our home, I am technically a stay at home mother. I WISH I could work or at least actually BE AT home. One or the other. I am always on the go and for FREE! If you are a “fan” you know that I have special needs children, active children, volunteer, and am a military wifey. Just because I do not have a forty hour a week paying job, does not mean I stay home eating bon bons and watching my storiessss (I tried typing in a Sophia voice). I do maintain our home for the most part. It may not always be picture perfect, but it is clean and it is done. My husband helps with a good amount. Definitely not as much as I do, but way more than 50’s and 60’s daddies that’s for sure.
Like many military wives, we know how to adapt. We are capable of doing all of the household tasks, and the “masculine” ones. God that just sounds so wrong. We are used to our spouses being here and then suddenly being gone for an undetermined amount of time. We become accustomed to living life as though we are 100% the adult dynamic of our household. Single women master this at all times of course. Let us take a moment to acknowledge some quick tips from the 50’s on how to manage the daily struggle. Whether it is finding time to do all of the shopping, maintaining a not so trashy home, or just getting a moment of silence without having to be awake in the middle of the night to do it:
- Bring in the help! Apparently it was very common, not just the rich, for many families to afford nannies, au pairs, and maids. Let us not get into the logistics of why (that is for an entirely different article), but compared to today, we would all be considered super poor because your doctors wife does not have one maybe (mine does not). There are many cleaning services today. Even apps make it affordable for maybe a once each month or a spring cleaning deep clean, but even these services do not cover the number of tasks completed by the maids then.
- Use pro services. Before WWII, it was uncommon for women to shop for all of their own groceries. Once all the delivery boys suited up, and crossed the big blue to shoot Nazis, the women folk had to fend for themselves and get in those checkout lines. Still in some neighborhoods, perhaps you were fortunate enough to have your laundry, groceries, meat, dairy, smokes, and booze delivered! Today we have some similar. Of course there are large delivery fees, few stores that participate, and you basically have to live in a congested city to be lucky enough to have your goodies delivered. Covid did make this option expand. Amazon jumped on the opportunity and you can basically have anything delivered if you can afford what comes with that luxury.
- Ladies Home Journal published an article in the 50’s with the solution to your childcare needs. Pawn them off on someone! Anyone! Does not matter! Can’t send them to Grandma’s house? That’s ok. Maybe your neighborhood has a babysitting co-op. Yes, a group of women (of course) who swap watching all of the neighborhood children each week. This is a great way to get some quiet time. Two issues; 1. How well do you know your neighbors? 2. Eventually, it will be your turn with all those monsters.
- Kids driving you crazy with all that crap? Too many toys and too much noise? No problem. It is perfectly acceptable to forbid children from being in most of the rooms in the home. Children were only meant to be in their bedrooms and the TV or “family” room. Toys were never to be seen. That rule could also apply to the children as well. Kick them outside and let the dog babysit. Why should the children come in before the street lights come on? The police can babysit outside. The mom babysits inside. The milk carton lost kid thing wasn’t an issue yet anyways right? If your child was too little to fend for themselves outside and the nanny had a rare day off, stick the infant in the playpen. It was perfectly normal to place your growing and developing baby in a small square space in front of the TV or in the backyard for hours on end. If they are alive, you did your job.
- What should have been number one (sarcastic) is you never should be too creative. Kids do not need creativity so you do not need it either. Pick six or seven meals and just rotate. I cannot really elaborate on this in a joking manner. I do this. No joke. Especially if you are a special needs family, you find what they like, meet in between on decently healthy, and stick to it. However, there is no harm in expanding your horizons! Just not before 1970!
There was only one exception to creativity, your appearance. Fashion had to be appealing. Your wardrobe, hair, and makeup had to be attractive for your husband. If your husband wandered, it was YOUR fault apparently. You did not satisfy him so he had to search elsewhere. Most ridiculous shit I have every heard. I will say I love the fashion of the 50’s and 60’s, but I would not tolerate being told I HAD to wear something. I enjoy my daily black leggings and my messy bun. For some reason, my husband enjoys it too, so he says.
For the most basic tips, Dr. Nancy had the key to being the good wife in the 50’s. Before I list them, I want to say this. In no way should these tips or bullets be taken with heart. If you cannot tell, I have written this article filled with my own sarcasm. Whether you agree with this lifestyle, or have a backbone and believe you truly are not a doormat and have self respect, I am not telling anyone how to live, but these tips are way too funny not to include! So I leave you with these crazy ideas, and as always don’t forget to coffee, tea, wine, repeat!
- Always have dinner ready on time
- Prepare yourself for your husband
- Clear away all clutter
- Prepare the children for his arrival
- Minimize noise in the home
- Do not greet him with complaints or problems from your day
- Make him comfortable
- Listen to him and his concerns
- Make the evening his
References for content and images
