Erin When I was young, I was picked on quite a bit. I was picked on because I was developed early, I liked different music, I liked different movies, I wasn’t as religious as my friends, and many other reasons. As I grew older, I began defending myself. I learned my own worth, and began responding in a way to better protect myself emotionally. To this day, I credit my ability to not only choose my battles, but also defend myself when necessary to how I grew up and my past experience.
Kids are not kind. Teenagers are even more cruel. Adults, however, have become the new bullies in this writer’s opinion. I do not usually comment on posts on social media. I do read the comments though. Some articles and posts are controversial. Some are offensive. Some are meant to stir up debate, but even the most mild of posts……. draw out the assholes. Whether it is an “apology” post, a review of a forty or fifty year old tv show, or even a product.
The other day such an article crossed my news feed. Apparently some were having an issue with the movie Soul. I watched such movie, and really enjoyed it. My children loved the cat especially. I was glad to see the portrayal and recognition of one of my favorite genres of music, jazz. Unfortunately, not everyone had the same feeling. One particular comment got my attention. The individual stated that it was not a true portrayal of a “black” man because he had not been in his “black” body throughout the entirety of the film. The individual stated that because he had to be the same color as all the other souls (blue), Disney was being racist.
2020 was the year for cancel culture. Claims that all cop shows, cop characters, brands with logos displaying different cultures, sports teams with cultural mascots, and many more were constantly displaying on my news feed and television. The posts and stories themselves were consistent. The comments sections were in no way consistent. Many were divided and held true to what they typed, but some would certainly show thier hypocrisy in every line. The Aunt Jemima/ Pear Milling threads were some of the worst. Some would call that the change was offensive, some would say the previous logo was offensive, but some would outright state that they were offended by the previous logo, but did not want it changed at all. Make sense to you? Didn’t to me.
Other posts I have been seeing have seemed innocent enough as apologies. It would be nice to get an apology from my bullies growing up. Not gonna lie, but what would it change? It would not make me a better person nor a worse. It would not change my resiliency or my self worth. I would mostly feel as though the apology was more for their own sake and karma. One definition given by Webster’s dictionary for closure is “an often comforting or satisfying sense of finality; victims needing closure.” Yes, some do need closure, especially when someone’s actions forced an unwilling effect or damage to ourselves. But what happens when we ourselves have made destructive choices, and possibly used blame on someone else?
I do not personally know Justin Timberlake or Britney Spears. I cannot speak to their intentions or personal nature (mostly because I rarely believe anything I see or hear). I do, however, feel that neither party was completely innocent in most actions taken in their previous years. Both have led a celebrity stereotypical life full of drama. Both have always at some point been in the headlines. Not only did they have an uncommon life, they are also ex’s. I don’t know about you, but not all of my breakups have been amicable ha ha. I have had the rough ones where they were followed by rumors or lies. I survived. Many of us have been in the same situation and survived. From my experience, ten or twenty years down the road, these people aren’t even in my life nor can I even remember everything that transpired.
The comments in the formal or informal (however you want to look at it) apology from Justin Timberlake post certainly displayed a division in everyone. The most interesting comment I read stated that if Justin Timberlake had never broken up with her, she would have never had so many legal issues, children, or a Malibu’s most wanted- looking ex baby daddy. Now I do not know for sure who broke up with who, I also do not care, but it struck me as interesting because the comment basically stated that all her negative consequences for actions taken by her were inevitably someone else’s fault. Not sure about your family, but this is the opposite of what I teach my children. I could understand Justin wanting to apologize, if it was his decision, but I do not agree with the backlash recieved just for simply saying your sorry. What is even worse, when people demand a pound of flesh to go with that apology!
In a world full of bullies, it is easy to have your feelings hurt or lash out in unexplainable ways. It is so common for someone to say they are offended by absolutely anything. In an age where it is so easy to speak your opinion, people never pause to think,”Should I really type that? Is my comment at all relevant? Or am I just being a bully?” I do want to know your opinion. Yes, I may get some backlash for stating my own opinion, but at least I can say I am no bully. I am certain you have heard the old phrase, “Opinions are like assholes. Everyone’s got one, and they all stink.”
