Erin So I was pretty upset with myself yesterday. I planned on writing. I made it a goal for the day. Life had a different plan. After dishes, laundry, one room clean, commissary, school pickups, orthodontist, dinner, AHG meeting, and homework, I was done! My energy was so low I could hardly keep my eyes open at 8pm!
Everyday I write my goals, my to-dos, and my schedule for the day. I do not do well without that direction. I strive on structure and routine. My kids were all in school and my hubby was off to work, and I had a plan. I need to accept that the days will not always be 100% accomplishment, but it is difficult. Anyone feel this way?
Somehow I always measure my self worth by what I accomplish. If I do not complete my list, it feels as though the entire day was a waste. Perhaps it is also because I am a stay at home mom (even though I am rarely home). I feel as though I need to make my lack of income payoff by doing everything in the home, everything for my kids, everything for my father, and everything for my husband. Even when my back hurts, my head aches, and my feet swell, I still keep going. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming………
I guess having this website, in a way, helps justify my career choice ha ha. Perhaps small advertisements or what have you will allow me to not only do what I love, but make a monetary contribution to my family. I know my husband and family loves me. My husband is always supportive and tells me I do more than enough. I love him. I just wish I loved me as much as he loves me. Know what I mean?
So today I made it a priority over all else. I have transitioned from coffee to tea (peppermint today), and am watching the “pre-game” of the inauguration. Relaxing and writing. My peaceful place. It may not be the best thing (watching the inauguration) while writing, but today it is making the words flow.
